Drift
by AbigailEmily
Summary: A Story based around Lorraine and Nikki, starting in episode 20 at their first moment. It follows the realisation of their feelings for each other, and the growth of their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**So, I've found myself falling more and more in love with Lorraine/Nikki so I felt like I should write about them...**

**I don't have much (well, any) experience writing about this kind of thing so it probably wont be that good, but oh well ;)**

**this is set starting in season 8 episode 20 at their moment thing :)**

…**...**

_Nikki's POV_

I could feel the tension in the room as Michael's eyes skimmed over the pages of Jodie's messy handwriting. My eyes bored into him, trying to read the signs on his face as to how she had done. The room was silent, but my heart was pounding in my ears, and Jodie's essay wasn't the only reason. I could feel Lorraine's eyes glancing over at me from time to time. Stolen glimpses, before her eyes darted back to Michael once more. I wanted more than anything to be able to turn my head towards her; to look into her eyes. But I knew I couldn't. I knew I felt something for her, and I got the impression that she felt it too, but how I would be able to tear my eyes away from her after I looked. So I just kept staring at Michael, my gaze occasionally adjusting to the floor. However, the silence, and my musings were soon cut short by him closing the exam paper sharply. My eyes immediately sprang upwards, expectantly.

"Well?" I asked.

"I think she might just have done it" he replied, his face breaking into a smile.

"How's she managed that with everything that happened?" I wondered

"Well, maybe it made her more determined" he replied

"She's done the PRU proud" added Lorraine

At this point, Michael left to put Jodie's paper with the others, leaving Lorraine and myself alone.

"So have you, Nikki" she said, her arm brushing against mine as she turned to face me. I gasped inwardly as she touched me, feeling the electricity run through me. Shocked, I took a step backwards. There was no doubt about it in my mind now. We had something.

"Done The PRU proud" she continued, at my confused expression.

"Look, do you fancy going for a drink later?". The words came out of my mouth before I'd had time to think them through. Oh God, that sounded like I was offering a date. I moved backwards again, a tiny glimmer of hope in the back of my mind that she'd accept, or at least say something. At the moment there was just a stunned silence between us. I'd never seen her look more confused in my life. Oh God, what had I done? I just asked my female boss on a date. What was I thinking?

"Never mind, it was just a thought" I somehow managed to get out, before hastily rushing out of the door and pushing it firmly shut behind me. Leaning against the cool glass outside the office I closed my eyes, my breathing haggard. Realising the only thing I was half regretting, was her response.

_Lorraine's POV_

"Look, do you fancy going for a drink later"

My breath caught in my throat as her question was sprung upon me. I had no idea what to do. I knew in my heart that my truthful answer was yes. Yes I wanted to go for a drink with her. I wanted nothing more. I hadn't since the moment I'd met her. Yet my head ruled my heart, and my head was telling me 'no'. No, you're straight. You have no feelings for her. She's a friend. That's all, a friend. I almost laughed at myself, tears pricking at my eyes as the same lies that I'd told myself since I was 15 years old cut through me once more. You're straight, you like guys. She means nothing to you. I wanted to force myself to say something, anything. But she was already apologising for her self and running out of the door.

'No' I thought to myself. 'It's not you that should be apologising'

I willed my feet to run after her. To apologise. Accept the offer. Let my heart rule my head for once. But instead I sank to the floor, my head in my hands. Once again, I was ashamed of my cowardliness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Firstly, I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed and followed my story! I never expected to get such a positive response after the first chapter :)**

**love you all 3 x**

_Lorraine's POV_

10 minutes later I was still sitting in exactly the same position. Not moving, somehow hoping that if I just stayed there, my mind would untangle itself. I wanted more than anything to be able to stand up and walk out of those doors, cool and collected, just like I was in everything else I did. To look into her eyes and tell her that yes. Yes I did want to go for that drink with her. The thought made me smile hopelessly, more tears spilling out of my eyes. I sighed despairingly, willing my legs to stand and carry me out to her. Running my fingers through my my hair, I stood up, leaning up against the wall, trying to tidy my face up slightly. I couldn't let her know that she somehow had the ability to turn my life into such turmoil.

Shakily, I pushed the door open and walked into the corridor, my pace quickening as the thought that she might have left made it's way to the front of my mind. She couldn't leave. I couldn't begin to imagine what state I'd be in if I couldn't see her for a whole 2 weeks without settling this. I ran faster now, stumbling on my 6 inch heels, cursing my fashion choices. All the while my head was screaming at me to turn back. You're straight, you're straight. The voices echoed around in my head like they did every time. Tears were clouding my vision again but I hastily wiped them away. I was going to do this. There was no point lying to myself any more.

I stopped for a second to catch my breath, slipping off my salmon pink heels and running towards the exit. crashing through the doors, I could see her car about to drive away but I shouted

"Stop", running closer towards her car, the harsh wind whipping round my face, matting my hair into tiny impossible knots. I didn't care. All that I cared about was that she saw me, and that she stopped.

I screamed at her again in desperation, waving my arms above my head in some attempt to make her notice me. I was aware that I looked mad, alone in the car park with no shoes, my hair and face a total mess, but in that one moment it didn't matter; nothing did. My heart was finally ruling my head and all my inhibitions seemed to have been blown away for her. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, hear it echoing in my ears, mixing with the subsiding voices in my mind as I gasped for air. She had to see me. She had to.

Finally, her car slowed and came to a halt, but I kept running towards it, as if, if I didn't, she would somehow disappear away from me, but she didn't. Opening her door, she walked out tentatively, eyeing me with some suspicion, but still I kept going. I couldn't turn back now.

"Nikki, I, I" I stuttered, words failing me at the crucial moment. I turned my gaze towards the floor, begging myself to say something, but all that was coming out was air, my breath getting caught in my throat like it had the last time I spoke to her. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes again. I had failed to overcome myself. I was a coward. Stepping backwards slightly I realised how ridiculous I must look, making me turn even more towards the floor, but suddenly, I felt a soft hand underneath my chin, guiding me to look up at her.

"I know" she simply said, her eyes looking straight into mine. Something in that moment made me braver. Her touch, her eyes. Maybe even just her presence. But I found myself leaning in towards her, my lips brushing against hers gently. She reciprocated, wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me in closer. I could feel her teeth softly on my bottom lip and I kissed her back harder, braver this time, the voices in my head completely drowned out by the pure emotion I was feeling. Yes, this was right.

Too soon, she pulled away, her eyes staring into mine once more.

"So" I said, "about that drink", a smile creeping it's way onto my face as she wrapped an arm around my waist.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

_Nikki's POV_

Staring at the ingrained wood of the table in front of me, I couldn't quite believe that this was actually happening. After I'd left Michael's office I hadn't known what to feel. I should have been embarrassed, but in all truthfulness I didn't feel any regret for asking her, only pure sadness that she had rejected me, and perhaps a little irritation at myself, for ever thinking that she could actually want me. Suffice to say, when I saw Lorraine trying to get my attention as I was leaving, I was shocked. But I couldn't help a smile making its way on to my face. She certainly knew how to make a scene, and there was just a glimmer of hope that maybe she wanted me after all.

Suddenly, I felt a warm hand gently being placed over the top of mine across the table. I looked up slowly to see Lorraine staring back at me, and again, I couldn't help but smile.

'Sorry', she said. 'You were miles away'

'Ah, no matter' I replied gently. 'It was nothing important' I said, intertwining our fingers, rubbing little circles on the back of her hand. She smiled back at me, squeezing my hand just a little tighter. She took a sip of her wine as I sat very slightly backwards in my chair. I had known this would be right.

….

Several drinks later and we had severely loosened up, especially Lorraine who was know beckoning me over to her side of the table, running her tongue along her top teeth anticipatorily. Obligingly, I did so, finding myself almost on her lap seeing as there wasn't much space, not that I minded. Wrapping one arm around my waist she leant her head gently on my shoulder, her soft curls falling down my back as I pressed my lips against it lightly. Soon, she looked up at me, her eyes filed with lust and passion as she brought her lips closer to mine. Lightly at first, just brushing them gently across each other, hardly even touching. But it was enough. Her arms moved further up my body and I did the same, running my fingers through her hair, pulling her closer to me. Her lips crashed down on mine, her tongue running along my lips begging for entrance. I soon obliged, opening my mouth to let her tongue enter, running mine over her teeth as I delved deeper. She ran her hands through my hair passionately as I pushed her down onto the seat below. I think by now we had both forgotten we were in a public place. To me, there was no one else there but her. I was totally wrapped up in her as she pulled her lips away from mine and gently began kissing me along my jaw line, then down onto my neck. I moaned in pleasure and wrapped my arms around her more tightly, however, suddenly, she pulled away again, but this time forcefully. Practically wrenching herself away from my grasp.

'Shit' she whispered.

'What?' I replied, in utter perplexion. She seemed to be looking beyond me at another table, her arms now firmly by her sides.

'Shit, is that Michael?' she asked

I turned around and looked before looking back at her and nodding.

'Oh God, what are we going to do?' she asked, but she seemed close to laughter, her face breaking into a smile as the skin next to her eyes wrinkled up, but on listening more closely, there was definitely an air of panic about her.

I was about to reply, but she'd already grabbed my hand and was dragging me onto the floor beside the table.

'Lorraine, what are you doing' I asked, completely baffled.

'Leaving', she replied simply, a sly grin on her face, before shuffling forwards on her hands and knees, glancing back at me as she did so, her lips pursed, suppressing the laughter that was so close to bubbling out from her. I followed her, equally close to the ground until we reached the corner, at which point she stood up and shook various bits of dust of her once perfect dress, throwing her head back in laughter at the pure ridiculousness of the situation, before striking a pose against the wall with her hands held underneath her chin in a gun like position.

'Very agent-esque' I said. Not being able to resist her any more, I grabbed her by the waist, crashing my lips down upon hers, feeling her soften in my arms as I pulled her closer. Pulling away again, she turned my head, gently nibbling on my earlobe, before whispering in my ear,

'I believe we have some unfinished business', dragging me out by the arm to the sea front.

As we walked along she began to intertwine her fingers with mine, looking over her shoulder at me tentatively as she bit on her lip. I squeezed her hand back, before pulling my arm around her waist, kissing her gently on the forehead. She reciprocated, pulling me in to her as the wind whipped up her hair, the sea salt mingling with it as I pulled my hands around her head. All would have gone to plan, had it not been for the sudden crack of thunder followed by the sky opening, drenching us both in seconds. We ran anyway, getting into the first taxi we could. There was a mutual agreement between us both that didn't need to be said as she leaned closer to me, resting her head in my shoulder. We were going back to the same house. So when the driver asked where we were going, I let Lorraine give him her address and have done with it. I had no problem with staying over.


	4. Chapter 4

**I just wanted to say thank you again to everyone who has followed and reviewed my story! You're all wonderful :)**

…**...**

Part 4

_Lorraine's POV_

An arm draped around gently over my back. Soft breathing on the back of my neck, leaving a few soft blonde hairs hovering in mid air. I opened my eyes and blinked as the world came into focus. I should have liked the contact, but I flinched at the thought, assuming it was another man. There were a lot of things I should have liked. Things I pretended I liked. Things that I forced myself to do even. Because the only person that really needed convincing was myself. I closed my eyes again, trying to remember what had happened last night, my head throbbing. How much had I had to drink last night? I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember anything. Fleeting memories ran through my mind like scenes in old films. Drunken men luring over me, their breath laced with alcohol hot on my face. Sweaty arms wrapped too tightly around my body, almost like they knew that my heart wanted me to be dragged away from them. None of it ever seemed right, but it was. It had to be. Still, thinking about that wasn't helping, none of that happened last night. Because suddenly it was all there. Flashes of Nikki's face ran through my mind. Smiling, laughing. Then her lips, soft and tender, slowly moving towards mine. I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly that it hurt, begging the memories to stop playing; for them to explode into tiny little sparks in my mind, dancing in unforeseen patterns. I couldn't think about this. Not now. Not ever. But the imaged stayed, only getting stronger, ingrained in the back of my mind forever, refusing to vanish even for a second. I lay back further in my pillow and sighed softly. How could something that was so wrong feel so right. Part of me wanted to lean over to her right now. Touch her perfect face while she slept. Not enough to wake her, just so it could be real again. To touch her hair softy. For her to hold her arms around me gently, protectively. But it couldn't be. This was all wrong. The voices in my head were rising again. Flinching as the memories of last night became more clear in my mind, I dug my nails into my thigh sharply. How could I have been so stupid. What if Michael had seen us? I could feel tears rising in my throat. I couldn't stand being in her presence any more. I didn't want her to see me like this. I was supposed to be the strong one. The one who always had it together.

Locking myself in the bathroom I sunk to the floor, running my hands through my tangled hair. The tears were threatening to fall but I wouldn't let them. Not this time. But everything seemed hopeless. How was I ever supposed to have a relationship when what my head wanted my heart despised, and what my heart wanted would never be allowed by my head. Suppressing a sob, I put my head in my hands, somehow hoping that it would block out the world. Dejectedly I let the pretence go, breaking down into sobs. I should be stronger than this.

I don't know how long I'd been sitting in there when I heard someone knocking on the door incessantly.

'Lorraine?' Nikki's voice questioned.

I remained silent. I couldn't be seen like this.

'Lorraine, I know you're in there' she said.

Again, I said nothing. I wished that I could walk up to the door and unlock it more than anything. But I'd spent so long distancing myself from everyone that I didn't know how to accept help. Independent to the utmost.

'Lorraine, please let me in. I want to help you.' She wasn't going away. I could tell. But she said this more softly. Somehow it made me trust her more. Like she actually cared. Maybe she did. That flicker of hope was enough for me to lift myself up and open the door a fraction, my eyes focussed permanently on the floor.

'Oh Lorraine' she said, wrapping her arms around me gently, guiding me back to the floor. I found myself pulling my arms around her, sobbing into her shirt.

'What's wrong' she asked quietly, her lips inches away from my ear. I didn't reply, clenching the material of her blouse in my fists. Somehow she seemed to know what was going on anyway. Maybe once she had experienced it too.

'Lorraine, I know how you're feeling. And I want you to know that whatever this is, its completely no pressure. We can go whatever speed you want to. I just want you to be happy. Whatever we do, you call the shots, ok?' she asked.

Lifting my head up to look at her I smiled.

'Thanks' I replied.

'Breakfast' she questioned, cocking her head slightly to the side.

'Sure' I said, standing up and heading downstairs.

'I'll be down in a minute' she replied.

Popping slices of bread into the toaster a few minutes later I felt a pair of arms around my waist from behind.

'Better?' she asked, before kissing my gently on the temple.

'Perfect' I replied, turning my head and kissing her softly on the lips.


End file.
